Hawaiian Burial Customs

In Hawaii, death is not something to take lightly. The death of a king, queen or high chief is no exception. In fact, the death of a king, queen or high chief is a great time of mourning to the people. The people who knew the people the most are the people who mourn the greatest. They weep, mourn, cut their hair, knock out teeth, scar their skin, and sometimes even cut off one of their ears. William Ellis, a reverend in the 1800s, saw a queen in great pain while having her tongue tattooed with a black line after her husband died. When he asked her about it, she said that it hurt, but the pain of her grief was greater than that could ever be.

It was believed that the iwi, or bones held great power, and benefited whoever possessed them. The skull, leg, and occasionally arm bones were especially hidden, guarded and preserved. 

Burial caves are found all over Hawaii, with men, women and small children buried in the sand dunes. Many caves however, had already been found and raided.  

After the 1990s, which is when President Bush created and signed the Native American Grave Protection, which protects Native American burial sites. That group is called the Hui Malama. The Hui Malama transports bones under the cover of night, and utmost secrecy. When someone important dies, their grave is surrounded with either rocks or high poles. Common people were buried in natural tombs, like caves or hollows. 

Interesting Funeral Facts Part 1

Flowers placed at the grave were originally brought to promote good will with the spirit of the deceased.

The tradition of playing loud music at an Irish wake originated with the belief that it would ward off evil spirits. The wake also presented an opportunity to watch over the deceased to see if he/she would awaken.

Approximately 6,400 burials are conducted annually at Arlington National Cemetery, which is an average of about 28 burials are performed each day.

Interesting Funeral Facts Part 2

A properly folded military flag shows 4 stars, one each to represent the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines.

Taberger’s safety coffin was developed in 1829. It included a bell to ring that would alert the graveyard workers if they were being buried alive.

Prior to the 20th century, some European families would hire professional mourners to either look sad or wail.

Elephants and chimpanzees both have been known to bury their dead, by throwing leaves and branches over the deceased members of their families.

An odd spot to have a cemetery, an apartment building’s parking lot in Hattiesburg, Mississippi has a small cemetery.

Are Funeral Expenses Tax Deductible?

If you have paid for a loved one’s burial you may need to know, ‘Are funeral expenses tax deductible?’ These costs can be deducted from your tax liability but you must know the appropriate way to file for this deduction. There appears to be a lot of misunderstanding about where the funeral deductions should be placed on the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) forms. You must file the deduction legitimately in order to receive the credit. It is important to keep all the receipts associated with the final expense payments when you plan on taking the IRS deduction. Let’s look at some of the incorrect places this deduction is listed, then we will discuss the right way to file.

The appropriate place to put funeral expenses is with the estate tax deduction. The IRS states that an estate will owe taxes to the federal government if the assets value is greater than $3.5 million. Allowable deductions can be taken from the estate total before calculating the value limit of the IRS code. These figures can change often, so you should check with an estate planner or income tax preparer to determine your specific liability. When leaving the entire estate to a spouse the IRS will not require tax payment on the assets. When the estate is left to children, then the IRS requires a tax payment.

Some of the allowable deductions subtracted from the value of the estate are those for funeral costs. The cost of a funeral is between $3,000 and $10,000 for the average person. The costs can escalate several times higher when paying for specialized funeral services. All these expenses can be deducted from the total value of the estate and the asset values will be lowered.

Filing Tax Returns for a Deceased Person

In the United States, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) requires both an individual tax return and an estate tax return for persons who died within that calendar year.

The date of a person’s death determines when his individual tax liability becomes the liability of his estate. Until his estate is settled in the probate courts (if necessary) or otherwise distributed, all income generated must be reported to the IRS.

A legal representative such as an executor or administrator is responsible for filing all the required tax returns. A surviving spouse can file a joint return for the year of death if no executor or administrator has been appointed, and if the deceased had not already filed a separate return. A surviving spouse cannot file a joint return if he has remarried before the end of that calendar year or was a nonresident alien at any time during the tax year.

An administrator or executor can revoke a joint return by filing a separate return for the deceased. If a joint return is filed by a surviving spouse and the estate cannot pay its share of the tax liability, the full amount must be paid by the spouse. Surviving spouses who are also executors must sign the return twice, once as executor and once as surviving spouse.

Talking To A Child About Death

If you are concerned about discussing death with your children, you’re not alone. Many of us hesitate to talk about death, particularly with youngsters. But death is an inescapable fact of life. We must deal with it and so must our children; if we are to help them, we must let them know it’s okay to talk about it.

By talking to our children about death, we may discover what they know and do not know - if they have misconceptions, fears, or worries. We can then help them by providing needed information, comfort, and understanding. Talk does not solve all problems, but without talk we are even more limited in our ability to help.

What we say about death to our children, or when we say it, will depend on their ages and experiences. It will also depend on our own experiences, beliefs, feelings, and the situations we find ourselves in, for each situation we face is somewhat different. Some discussions about death may be stimulated by a news report or a television program and take place in a relatively unemotional atmosphere; other talks may result from a family crisis and be charged with emotions.

Long before we realize it, children become aware of death. They see dead birds, insects, and animals lying by the road. They may see death at least once a day on television. They hear about it in fairy tales and act it out in their play. Death is a part of life, and children, at some level, are aware of it.

Religion is a prime source of strength and sustenance to many people when they are dealing with death. But if religion has not played an important role in a family’s life before death, a child may be confused or frightened by the sudden introduction of religious explanations or references. Children tend to hear words literally, and religious explanations that may comfort an adult may unsettle a child. For example, the explanation, “Baby brother is with God now,” or “It is God’s will,” could be frightening rather than reassuring to the young child who may worry that God might decide to come and get her just as He did baby brother.

Should A Child Attend A Funeral?

Decisions like these have to do with both what is practiced in your family's culture and also your particular child's level of development and temperament. There is no "one right answer." It is important, in considering what to do, to take into account a five year old's capacity to understand death. Here are some things to consider:.

A five-year-old child can't fully comprehend death. She may be able to understand that the person isn't going to be here any more, but she will probably have a much harder time imaging why that might be the case. A common explanation young children come up with is that the dead person does exist somewhere else, like in heaven, in the cemetery, or somewhere far away you could reach by airplane.

What impacts young children most pay when someone dies is the behavior and feelings of the people around them. It is from these responses that children come to understand that death is very important, sad and significantly different from most other events in life. Knowing that children are learning from us during this process can be a motivating force for us to get the support necessary to go through the grief process in healthy ways.

It may be helpful for children to see adults cry. It can be overwhelming for children, however, if adults do all of their grieving in front of their children. It is useful for adults to regularly take private time, time to deal with their own grief. This will enable them to be supportive of their children's feelings during the process.